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 Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Naziism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks
the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow dropped dead.
French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them
Worldwide.
German Corporation: You have 2 cows. You reengineer them so they live for
100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
British Corporation: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You
break for lunch.
Russian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five
cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You
claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that
you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your ass. You still have no
cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Irish Corporation; you have two cows. You ask for an EU subsidy for your
failed breeding programme.
Milton Keynes Council; you have two cows and no concrete leads on who stole
the others.
Dublin Aviary; you have two black cows and a broken perch
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in
the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Hong Kong Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The
milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a
Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells
the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company and proceeds from
the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows,
with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng
shui is bad.
New Zealand Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute
Indian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You worship them.
Australian Corporation: You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You
close the office and go down the pub to celebrate.
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