“We believe in One Unicorn, The Pink, The Invisible. Creator of Uncertainty, Keeper of Chaos, our Maker, revealed unto us in the alt.atheist usenet forum. She that Raptures Socks, She will smite those that mock Her brethren. When heathens partake in baloney, she invites her loyal servants to join the feast. We shall eat our fill, yea every belly shall be full with pure, untarnished, unadulterated, suffer-free pizza. Her revelations show us the folly of all religions, our personal insignificance, the understanding of existence, and the importance of 42. Spread Her Word.”
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The Invisible Pink Unicorn is a parody of theist definitions of God. It also purports to highlight the arbitrary and unfalsifiable nature of religious belief.
Its rationale is something like this:
“Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.”
It is common when discussing the Invisible Pink Unicorn to point out that because She is invisible, no one can prove that She does not exist. This is a parody of similar theistic claims about God. It has likewise been said that trying to find god is like using a metal detector to search for unicorns in one's sock drawer. The Invisible Pink Unicorn is an illustration of the absurdity of citing attributes and a lack of evidence as proof of a deity's existence. Her two defining attributes, invisibility and colour (pink), are inconsistent and contradictory; this is part of the satire.
There are humorous mock-serious debates amongst Her followers concerning Her other attributes, such as whether She is completely invisible, or invisible to most, but visible to those who have faith in. Some of these debates are quite intricate and convoluted, parodying many religions' theological debates. However over time some agreement has developed regarding Her attributes. For example, it is more or less agreed that she is partial to ham and pineapple pizza, although some vegetarians disagree, arguing that because IPU is vegetarian, it must be pineapple and mushrooms. Pineapple, anyway, is agreed upon; as is the fact that she despises pepperoni. Another point of agreement is that IPU "raptures" socks, which accounts for their otherwise inexplicable tendency to disappear. Socks raptured from your laundry are allegedly a sign of favor from IPU — or it could be disfavor, depending on who is asked, or perhaps upon which socks are raptured.
Similar to the devil, the Invisible Pink Unicorn is said to have an "opponent" in the Purple Oyster.
"For I did see my unworthiness in Her sight, for I was a sinner, destined forever to spend existence in the presence of the unholy Purple Oyster, waxing his shell and massaging his most wretched and slimy feet. For lo, the Purple Oyster doth truly have feet, and the legs thereof, and the toes thereof, giving him dominion over all the clams of the seas, and allowing him to go unto the children of men, and tempt them unto destruction." — The Revelation of St. Bryce the Long-Winded (Partial), Chapter One, Verses 9 to 11.
The Purple Oyster, also known as the "Purple Oyster (of Doom)", or "PO(oD)", is said to have once been one of the minions of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, but was cast out of Her Pastures for the Great Evil of attempting to convince believers of the heretical notion that pepperoni and mushroom pizza is more pleasing to Her than pineapple and ham.
A significant number to followers of the IPU is 42. It is the answer the question, "What is the meaning of life the universe and everything". Importantly, if you add the digits of the year in which she was revealed together, (1+9+9+4) you get 23. If you add 4 (for Her hooves), add 2 (Her ears) add 2 (Her eyes) add 1 (Her Horn), add 1 (Her tail) then add 9 the result is also 42. This proves the significance of Two Score and Two.
There are many miracles performed by the Invisible Pink Unicorn, for example:
“I was driving from Sacramento to home with just a half tank of gas in my car. That is not nearly enough and since I didn't have any money or credit to buy gas, I decided to pray to the IPU for help. The IPU answered my prayers and I made it home with just enough gas to reach my driveway. The IPU worked in a mysterious way by allowing a big storm to blow a strong southerly wind up the central valley and bring large amounts of rain. This gave me a tail wind which improved my gas mileage enough to reach home. It appears that the storm that gave me such good gas mileage is going to cause wide spread flooding up and down the valley but I suspect that the people who will get flooded out are unbelievers living contrary to the laws of the IPU.”
Steven L. Preszler
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It is acknowledged that there are no real believers in this mock goddess, but it has become popular, especially on atheist web sites and on-line discussion forums, to pretend belief in her for the sake of humor and as a form of critique of theistic belief. These professions of faith intend to exhibit the difficulty of disproving declarations of faith in phenomena outside human perception such as the existence of God.
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